பற்றில் இதயம் வைத்தேன்
வரவில் வலியை வைத்தேன்
உறவில் உன்னை வைத்தேன்
உயிரில் காதல் வைத்தேன்!
இரவில் கனவுகள் சுமந்தேன்
பகலில் நினைவுகள் சுமந்தேன்
இரண்டிலும் உன்னை சுமந்தேன்!
நிலவுக்கு எட்டி குதித்தேன்
வானை எட்டவுமில்லை
பூமி கிட்டவுமில்லை
காதலின் உலகத்தில் நான் திரிசங்கானேன்!
3 comments:
Good one friend. Why can't you continue writing? If you know who I'm; you'll be surprised. I'll give only one clue. I' ur school mate & the similarity between us is that we both think & exist differently. A very good improvement is shown in ur creation, but please continue writing. At least, I'll follow. :) Also, please write on varying topics. Take care, Bye & Catch me if you can.
Mr.Resplendent.ena peru da idhu? kamaraj school day drama la vantha veerapan thaana nee? how r u? have you read "andru mazhai peithathu!"?
want ur feed back on it.
Andru Mazhai peithathu is very good. Nice twists & wonderful writing. Neither you did give time to readers to find your logical errors or other loopholes; nor you had given time for them to feel the sense of the central characters. Start to end, it was like a roller coaster ride. But I didn't expect immature topics like Love, Love Triangle, Love Quadrangle, School life or College life from you. If you want to go for glory, attempt a crisp thriller or a sentimental story with universal appeal. In life, you can see various things in 24 hours. Try to eventualize some of your unforgettable stuff; you'll get the story nod. If you need any help, you know that I'll always be there. Also, try to avoid sloppy writing in some chapters. Andru Mazhai peithathu had such chapters. But, anyone didn't notice that coz of the speed of the story. In many places, the dialogues were really good. But you can reduce the length. I expect to see ur new story to start in few days. Gimme a thriller & I'll help you to develop it into one of the best.
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